It took me many years to learn how to set boundaries and even what the heck that meant. Think of a boundary as a shield of protection around you providing health and happiness. Go deeper with the meaning and understand boundaries are an important part of self-love and not allowing others to treat you in an unhealthy way.
When boundary setting is not demonstrated for us as children, it's usually a struggle to grasp as an adult. The sacrifice of self to the point of mistreatment by others can be the result if boundary setting is not put into place. Boundaries make a clear statement of what is not acceptable or allowed in our life. When those lines are crossed, it's a painful process for the one that has been wronged. Sometimes clear communication of the broken boundary can resolve the conflict. Other instances will require radical choices of removing ourselves from the situation altogether. The most uncomfortable part of a broken boundary is the trust once there before now replaced with doubt or fear.
When boundary setting is not demonstrated for us as children, it's usually a struggle to grasp as an adult. The sacrifice of self to the point of mistreatment by others can be the result if boundary setting is not put into place. Boundaries make a clear statement of what is not acceptable or allowed in our life. When those lines are crossed, it's a painful process for the one that has been wronged. Sometimes clear communication of the broken boundary can resolve the conflict. Other instances will require radical choices of removing ourselves from the situation altogether. The most uncomfortable part of a broken boundary is the trust once there before now replaced with doubt or fear.
I am all for doing whatever it takes to learn how to set boundaries: counseling, support groups, church guidance, etc. Once the art of boundary setting has been learned, it provides a self-confidence, strength, and overall feeling of worthiness never experienced before. It will seem as if life has begun in a truly healthy way for the first time.
Once boundaries have been set, it's important to honor yourself by remaining true to those decisions. This means not allowing anyone or anything rob you of your shield of self-love. Even the best of boundary setter can backslide and be tempted into old patterns. This could mean trusting someone to the point of letting down a boundary. The old familiar result of anger, resentment, and hurt re-enters the picture. Along with being wronged is the personal shame felt for allowing it to happen in the first place. The feeling of failing ourselves can be overwhelming.
Boundaries teach us how to respect ourselves enough to know how we want to be treated. It also dictates what is acceptable in our lives. Boundaries remove our doormat mentality and replace it with a security door of emotional ability to conquer any circumstance placed in its way.
Once boundaries have been set, it's important to honor yourself by remaining true to those decisions. This means not allowing anyone or anything rob you of your shield of self-love. Even the best of boundary setter can backslide and be tempted into old patterns. This could mean trusting someone to the point of letting down a boundary. The old familiar result of anger, resentment, and hurt re-enters the picture. Along with being wronged is the personal shame felt for allowing it to happen in the first place. The feeling of failing ourselves can be overwhelming.
Boundaries teach us how to respect ourselves enough to know how we want to be treated. It also dictates what is acceptable in our lives. Boundaries remove our doormat mentality and replace it with a security door of emotional ability to conquer any circumstance placed in its way.
Emotional health is a large part of our physical health. Being able to set boundaries is an important part of being a healthy person. It's about setting limitations and expectations for your life. The journey of learning can be a tough one, but the positive result will be the ability to love yourself.
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